BELIEF SUSPENDS AWARENESS

By John Maerz BA LMT

     What is a true believer? When we hear the phrase we think of someone who is devoutly religious or perhaps someone who has studied and adhered to a particular philosophy or life style over a long period of time. These people have tremendous power focused in the direction of their beliefs. We know, from experience with them, that they are usually impervious to any form of attempted conversion or collusion. Admirable characteristics include faith, tenacity, focus and contentment with themselves relative to their beliefs. They can be pretty awesome people to see in action. Their belief usually carries them through most of the difficulties that life seems to throw their way. However, before we pour our energy into strengthening our beliefs there are a few things we should consider.

     It is an assumed understanding that after we have found something that we have been looking for, usually, we stop looking. Hence the joke, “Have you ever noticed that what you’re searching for is always found in the last place you look?” This may seem innocuous but have you ever considered that if you kept exploring after the quest has been found or a conclusion has been drawn that you might find additional information pertinent to what you have decided? Further afield, have you ever considered that the new information might even contradict your conclusions? Faced with two options and making a choice for one alternative over another do we not close off the possibilities presented by the unchosen option? Hence, we never realize that there is always potential in an unchosen option and path not taken.

    Unwillingness or inability to choose has been one of the hallmarks of procrastination. Could it be that the lack of choice is a need not to close off options? As a childhood procrastinator I never finished anything I started so when I was criticized for what I did do I could always reply that, “I’m not finished yet” implying that the required “improvements” were just around the corner and that I knew that they were necessary to meet the inquisitor’s approval. In a similar vein, aren’t packrats unable to throw things away because they feel they might need them someday? Isn’t that just another way of holding on to our options? Is there really a difference?

     Conversely, by choosing not to choose we miss out on the benefit of a commitment that produces a change that might be beneficial to us. Jimmy Durante illustrates this point in the comical dilemma of his routine, “Should I stay or should I go?” A waffling choice demonstrates indecision stemming from the need to control our circumstances for fear of loss. It’s human nature to attempt to crystallize a behavior that we think will apply to the majority of all situations. We don’t want to think or, more appropriately, we don’t want to invest the energy of continuing to pay attention. The moment we choose any option to action or inaction out of a rote pattern we turn off an awareness of the potential of doing things another way. Belief is a choice. Choice is temporal. We choose to invest in a pattern of behavior based on the past experience that we’ve had or the hearsay of the past experience of someone that we trust. But, it is still our choice to believe or not. No one is twisting our arm. Considering each present experience, with awareness, consumes energy and time. It’s easier to put it on automatic and do what we’ve always done…or not done.

     What to do? We can’t just stop living, although many people do just that, locked in a mental stalemate, paralyzed by conflicting evidence and end up doing nothing and regretting it. At this point I would like to introduce something called choiceless awareness. This is something I learned through studying Krishnamurti. It might sound a bit like an oxymoron statement but let me attempt to explain. In our modern life everything is about thinking things through. It’s about having a “reason” for doing something or for our choice. This is one of the rationales that blanket over our intuition as we grow throughout our childhood conditioning. We have forgotten how to feel, or more appropriately put, feeling has been forced into a position of importance of third behind the physical and the mental. We have become a society permeated with reasons, explanations and excuses for everything that we do. We have deified physical evidence and reason and panned anything that’s not subject to scientific scrutiny, namely, heart and intuition. It is not valued because it can not be physically or mentally validated. It is irrational. Oh, it’s appropriate for romance, art and the like but when it comes to being responsible we've been preprogrammed to always rely on our judgment (mind) to the exclusion of all else. Yet, if you ask yourself how many times have you trusted your intuition and come out on top as opposed to brainstorming your choices and second guessing yourself into a corner with the evidence available, what would your response be? If you answer honestly your response will be the same as mine. It is my choice to believe that we know more intuitively than our mind could ever comprehend. So, personally, I always attempt to listen to that little voice inside; my natural urge, my heart. In India they call it dharma. This is our personal path free of the coercion or collusion of conditioning. So how do I “decide” you say? Given a fork in the road I will, first, listen to what my heart says. Then, I will use my mind to determine the possible outcome. Hence, I let my heart tell me what to do and let my mind tell me how to do it. The heart is eternal and only operates in the present. The mind operates using only the past and the future. In our western civilization we have trained ourselves to let the mind tell us what to do and then we wonder why our heart doesn’t feel right.

     Belief is a choice. It is a judgment. It functions only in the past and the future. As we choose with the mind and not our hearts, we suspend or blanket the awareness that lives in the heart and the present moment. The awareness in our heart knows and tells us our natural path or dharma. To live by our heart, or dharma, is to have choiceless awareness where we are listening to the eternal now within us. This allows the mind to be a servant to the heart; as, I choose to believe, it should be.